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Wed, Feb. 9th, 2011, 09:48 am
Remix... a hurts when I pee mix-CD

 I'm working on a Mix CD for Tshop Ashley... it is slightly stressful yet exciting to be sharing music... there is an intimacy here that I had forgotten.  When I think back to some of the best times with Jia it involved music... dancing in the kitchen, DDR, Amplitude, SSX Tricky, or sitting in one of our cars playing music for each other for hours.  It is strange that I had forgotten that... stupid memory.  

Listening to songs for the Mix CD is rewarding... again I expose a failing in memory... I chose this line up of songs from memory and I chose songs that I remember as being awesome... however when I listened to the songs many that I haven't heard in years... I was surprised at how good they were... even though I chose them for just that purpose.  Its like my memory was good enough find and point to what I wanted... but not sufficient to store the excellence of the experience.  A memory dampening effect?  I hadn't heard many of these tracks in months or years even.

Hmm... in fairness I have many times experienced the opposite especially with regards to music... there are some songs that I love and I hear in my head so intensely... and then I will play the song and be disappointed... whats the problem?  The music seems weak and missing some key element of vitality and joy... and sometimes it could be just that my added ingredient of emotional context... how am I feeling emotionally when I'm listening to this music... but it is more than that... I think sometimes my brain tweaks the memory to make it a little more interesting... a little more of what it already likes... and sometimes I wish that I could share that experience... or find a way to tweak the song in reality until it jives with superior version in my head... perhaps this is what skilled re-mixers do.  It is a phenomenon worth mentioning.

Memory is elastic and imperfect and its true that you cannot trust your mind in the way that many people would like to think you can.